Since the beginning of time (and I do mean the Garden of Eden), all mankind has been interested in horticulture.  And by horticulture, I’m not talking apples.  I’m talking about those whom I like to refer to as the Hope Seekers; the people who await Spring in hopes of tilling the soil, planting different seeds, and waiting for a bounty of wondrous, magnificent flowers to beautify their landscapes.

I call them Hope Seekers because they do this year in and year out because of their love of seeing them in all their splendor on an annual basis and I’m thankful for them.  Who in their right mind doesn’t enjoy gorgeous flowers?  But as much as I love them (and I truly do love flowers ardently) I can’t grow them.

Before you say something to try and assuage my fears and encourage me to keep trying to grow things know that I once killed a cactus.  I’m serious.  Ask my sisters.

My father planted it with his bare hands two years before he died.  Thinking that I could at least keep a cactus alive (you do only have to water them once a year, right?), I kept the cactus in my downstairs window until a year ago when my sister came through our front door screaming, “Give me that baby before you kill it!”  Rest assured, it is now alive and well in Northern Kentucky.  Although it’s transplanted in a much colder climate it is growing taller and stronger each day it lives.

I am giving you a little background because I thought anyone could grow a cactus, but I was wrong.  I have even been given Poinsettias by well-meaning people who erroneous believed I could follow simple directions and kept them alive until the following Christmas, but I can’t tell you how many of them have met their deaths at my brown thumbs.

Honestly, I can’t even kill weeds.  But don’t think I haven’t tried.  Several years ago I bought about five pounds of Round-Up and decided to obliterate every weed in and around my yard.  The first week it stayed on my front porch, the second week I started obsessing about whether or not it would do anything weird to the shrubs.  By the end of the eighth week I was having second doubts about it killing the earth worms.  It stayed on our carport until last year when we noticed most of it had leaked out and we threw the container away.

And now, even though we still don’t have flowers, we unfortunately still have weeds.  But I’m determined that this year I’m going to show them my thumb so I think they’re going to have a short life.  I’ve been trolling the internet and read that vinegar, pickle juice, Dawn dishwashing liquid, and many other variants of foods and cleaners will hold them at bay, but, alas, they come back sturdier and uglier.

At my wit’s end, I pulled out my brown thumb, extended my index finger and made a long overdue phone call.  Next week we’ll be looking out our front window at a solid sheet of concrete.

Have a great week and don’t forget to Smile Awhile!

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